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I found this poem on the blog of a mom writing about transracial adoption (source listed below).  It brought tears to my eyes because this has been my question:

What Can I Teach My Kids About Being Black

What can I teach you about being Black?
Not much,
Because I’m not.
But a I can teach you about pain,
And how to forgive peoples foolish words.
I can show you how to endure suffering,
So that through it Truth will be proclaimed.
I can love you and cry with you,
I can be the she-bear when you are threatened.
We can live where there is a rainbow of people,
and we can learn to love them together.
We can seek out the truth of history,
And not be afraid of the ugliness.
I can open your heart and your eyes
To the painful reality that comes
clinging to the back of sin.

And in the end,
I can release you into your destiny,
And wait for you to come home,
With a fuller understanding of who you are
and what you are to be in your life.
Then I can listen as you teach me,
What it means to be Black.

Poem from Dorothy, Urban Servant

(Copied and posted with permission from Urban Servant)http://urbanservant.blogspot.com/2007/11/what-can-i-teach-my-kids-about-being.html