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Today is Mother’s Day.  Today 3 words come to mind: joy, grief, and hope.  Maybe today you are experiencing incredible joy for the child or children you have.  Maybe today you feel grief for a child or baby you lost.  Maybe today you feel hope (and a bit of sadness too) for the child you yearn to come, whether through pregnancy or adoption.  Maybe today, like me, you are experiencing all three of these emotions and realities.

Today I sit in awe of my son, at my beautiful life of being a mom to him, and I have to remind myself that I am not dreaming; I am living in reality – I made it to motherhood!  I watched the video of my first mother’s day today; my son was 3 days old.  The day before that first mother’s day my son was discharged from the hospital to our care, the day before that I held him for the first time, and the day before that he was born and I woke up that morning not knowing that I was to become to a mom.  I’ll always cherish that first Mother’s Day always.

Today I also miss my baby twins that I never got to meet or hold in my arms.  They will soon be 4 years old. (We lost them in a failed adoption)

Today is also a day of hope, hope for the babies and children that I pray will one day come to our family.  I have no idea how we will adopt again and I fear some days that it will never work out to adopt more children.  However my heart does not feel that our family is complete and so I hope in God’s blessings of more babies and children to come.

Wherever you land in these three emotions on this Mother’s Day, may God’s abundant grace and peace fill your heart!  Happy Mother’s Day!

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